First drop 

Let the first drop of water split through me

Its raining 

When i get relief from summer

Its raining

Its the time to enjoy

The adorable place become more beautiful

Its shows the different shades of nature

It redefine the beauty of nature

The peacocks were dancing

The whole of the world is in joy

The faith of god

Such a beautiful season of ever 

Its the season of love

Everyone gona to live it forever

The sounds of drops hear by my soul tuning in my heart 

Its makes the seven color of rainbow fills with colors of happiness

Here’s the sound of my heart

May i live it again

May i live it again………….. 

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “First drop 

  1. Hi.

    Just following on from your visit to my blog and your question about your own work. I don’t like to comment at all about other people’s ideas expressed in their work, but I have a couple of things to offer about presentation that might be helpful (or you can ignore freely). This goes on a bit, but it’s only about the style and presentation, not the substance.

    1. Stanza breaks and line breaks. I find it very difficult to read a poem – especially a longish poem – if there are no stanza breaks. For myself, I try to contain one idea within one stanza and progress through the poem that way. If there aren’t any breaks, the poem blurs in my mind and I just can’t sustain reading concentration on the content all the way through. That happens a lot here on WordPress.

    2. WordPress makes it a little tricky to manage line breaks. What I find with my work is that I have to do my basic layout in HTML mode in the editor (to get line and stanza breaks) and then go into visual mode to put in italics, or indents or the like. It’s a bit of a drag, but it is worth it in my opinion to get the right ‘look’ to the piece. Needs a little experimentation.

    3. Especially if English is a second language (and well done if you’re writing poetry in your 2nd language – that is a huge task), it is really important to use a good spell checker on the work before it is posted. For myself, I find I rely on Microsoft Word spell checker. The reason to emphasis this is because some of the errors that show up are often very basic ones, but that aren’t necessarily obvious unless the spellcheck picks them up. For example, in the piece above, WordPress hasn’t picked up that ‘redifine’ is spelt wrong. MS Word would have picked it up, I suspect, and I can easily work out what the word is meant to be, but ideally you won’t want people to pause in their reading because they have been caught up by a spello.

    4. Last thing. You have used lower case ‘i’ for the personal pronoun, rather than capital ‘I’. That’s fine, and my only reason for drawing attention is to emphasise that if you take that approach, make sure it is deliberate and consistent throughout. I used that approach back a few years ago when I was doing my own experimenting and in the end I found it became tedious to sustain.

    If I’m right that English is your second language, I give you great credit. It’s a big ask to tackle poetry. One thing I might suggest is to write some of your poems in your first language and to offer your interpretation in an English translation. I suspect there are a great many readers (myself included) who would be interested in following your progress at that.

    Phew!. I hope that’s helpful. To my mind there is a whole science involved in determining good stanza breaks and good line breaks. Using them to contain thoughts and ideas, to promote flow, to allow breath pauses in the reading instead of punctuation etc.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t think you’re making any mistakes. But, I do think there are some tricks to getting presentation better in the WordPress format.

        In any case, you should enjoy your writing and experiment a little where it seems right to do that.

        Best luck with it,

        Frank

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s